I want to start this post off by saying that I am not a nutritionist. I am not a doctor. I don’t know everything and I am not the most fit person in the world. I am a woman who has always struggled with feeling confident in her own body. I have always been frustrated with my weight and I have always had a complex relationship with food and exercise.
In the last year my mindset around body image has completely shifted. As a result of that shift I am in the best shape I have ever been in. I am energized, I am strong, I am confident. This is all because of the way I view food, movement and my own body. I realize that every person is very different and their body demands different things. I am not here to tell you this way is the only way. I am here to share my mental shift over the past year, in hopes that 1 person can relate and make the same shift.
Since I can remember, I have always been aware of my weight. It has always been something I thought about. I constantly wanted to lose weight. I was constantly on a diet. I was constantly unhappy with my body. I tried everything to lose weight – and I mean everything. Low carb, low calorie, low fat, South Beach, Atkins, juice cleanses – you name it, I tried it. It would all work the first week, maybe even the second if I was really motivated, but the next week I would fall off and the weight would come back.
I only used fitness to offset what I was eating. If I went out and had pizza and beer, I would go straight to the gym the next day and stay on the treadmill for hours (okay actually I can only last like 30 minutes – so boring). If my eating was on point, I would use that as an excuse to slack off in my workouts. How twisted! My motivation was always superficial, it was all about how I looked. I wanted to lose weight because I had a vacation coming up, summer was around the corner, there was a new dress I had that didn’t fit.
I was always chasing what I wanted to look like, which meant I was never happy. My idea of what looked good was always changing. I would lose the 5 pounds I wanted to, but now I want my arms to be toned, my legs are still too big – it was never ending.
Enter – Mental Shift aka City Cycle
When I opened my cycling studio, my mindset went from “I want to be skinny” to “I want to be strong enough to do this work out.” This changed everything for me. My goal wasn’t to burn off the calories from last night, it was to challenge myself in the moment so I can be better tomorrow. It’s not about “skinny” or “fat” it’s about how you feel. When your head hits the pillow at night, are you proud of yourself? When you leave a workout class, are you proud of yourself? Those are things you get to control and those are things you can feel at any weight.
I will tell you, you won’t just wake up one day and it’s all of a sudden easy. It takes time, it takes consistency, but it is so worth it – you are worth it.
Three things I changed that changed everything:
1. I stopped weighing myself
Weighing yourself every day is a quick way to create a world where you live and die by the numbers. Start feeling instead of looking. Stop weighing yourself and start recognizing how you feel as you are working out. Easier said than done – I know, but trust me – one day your mind set will shift and everything will change.
2. I started working out…. hard
Getting stronger is now my goal, losing weight is a side effect of that goal. Once I stopped working out for other people (my appearance) and started working out for myself, I became so much stronger physically and mentally. I think every woman needs to be vulnerable and go to a workout class outside her comfort zone. Push yourself and you’ll be amazed how it effects your life in other areas. The mental aspect of fitness is huge for me. Approaching something that I don’t think I can do and pushing myself to my limit to get it done so is powerful. You will be amazed at what your body can do, it’s your mind that is holding you back.
3. I use food as something to help me feel a certain way
One day I was talking to my friend Evan (who is an amazing instructor at Soul Cycle in Seattle and if you haven’t taken his class stop reading this and go right now) and he said something to me that I will never forget. I asked him how his teaching was going and he said it was good, that he had taught 14 classes that week (damn). I replied, “Oh my god, you must get to eat whatever you want.” His response hit me hard. He said, “Oh no, when I work out that much I am demanding so much from my body – that is when I treat it the best.” Like WOW, I had never thought about it like that. The food you eat helps your body perform better. Is what you’re about to eat going to help you feel stronger in your workouts? Is it going to help you feel better at work? Is it going to make you feel more energized? That’s the mindset you have to have.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love pizza. I drink wine, I sometimes order banana bread from Starbucks and my boyfriend and I literally went to Red Robin last weekend (cluck and fries for life). You have to live your life. You have to go out with friends and eat late night snacks, those things bring actual joy to my life and I will never give them up. Monday – Friday I eat healthy foods that give me energy and that makes me feel good in my workouts. Saturday and Sunday, I enjoy life and you should too.
Oh and here is a little PSA: You need to unfollow all the Victoria Secret models on Instagram. Stop flooding your vision with ideas of what you have to look like. You don’t realize how impactful it is to see those things every day. Declutter your Instagram right now. Stop looking, start feeling.
So why does all this matter so much? Why is self-esteem so important?
How you talk to yourself is everything. How you look at yourself is everything. How you feel is everything. When you are unhappy and insecure, you are always focused on yourself and looking inward – you become selfish without even realizing it! When you are confident and happy it allows your mind to be free. You can then focus on other people – building them up and genuinely connecting. That’s where you want to live, trust me.
